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DEAR SANTA...

Dear Santa

In the spirit of Christmas, I’d like to share with you my letter to Santa. It’s wild and out there, but who knows, it’s Christmas and miracles do happen!

Any writer will tell you that at least once in their life they will pen a letter to a superhero or someone famous. It’s usually our truest wish, makes us vulnerable and real, and comes from the heart so it already has magic attached to it. We can ask for just about anything, so I will.  

My editor is getting sick of me saying, I wish Ryan Reynolds would see my column, Ryan Reynolds this, Ryan Reynolds that. So, I’m relinquishing it from her and handing it to the universe - and Santa. 

I read this letter to my son, he hopes Ryan will see it and my wish will come true, I hope so too.

Hey, it’s Christmas and every time you refuse to believe, you kill one of Santa’s elves!


Dear Santa,

I need a favour; can you please forward this letter to Ryan Reynolds? I figure if anyone can pull this off, it would be you. I’m not so interested in Ryan, don’t tell him that, but it’s his better half and probably alter ego, Deadpool (DP) who I need to contact. I need that guy, sorry Ryan, no offence.  

While you’re making the delivery, tell them that I’ve been good, except for 2020 when I bought my own gifts. Tell DP I’ve been advocating since his first movie came out that he be removed from the naughty list, I still can’t believe you penned his name to the list, but I understand the politics!

I personally don’t see why he’s on the naughty list anyway, he takes care of the bad guys and makes your life easier, bad guy go gone so you have less people and paperwork with respect to the naughty list.  

Seriously Santa, it’s a win, win for everyone!

Before you hand this letter off to the boys, I have a few small asks for your consideration.

Please tell PINK she is F*&$ING amazing; I saw her under a full moon in Fenway this summer and she made me cry tears of joy. Tell her I need her to write the song that will go along with my manuscript when it becomes a movie. I also want to be in the video, I see a beach and lots of laughter with friends. Just warn her about my Indigenous women friends; you know how we like to hit each other when we are happy? That, warn her about that!   

Also, Santa, the book I recently wrote needs to be featured on Canada Reads this coming year. If you know anyone at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation who makes decisions around this, tell them I have plans to have my book featured in February and to save spot for it on the nomination list.  

I would also like world peace, all-expense covered monthly trips to Cuba to deliver food and medical equipment, AND want your job when you’re ready to retire. But you can forget about me gaining 100lbs to fill that Santa Suit!

Senior Clause, this is the part where you leave the letter with them, if you continue to read on, your heart may get tight and it’s possible that you will feel some sadness with my ask. I don’t need Santa feeling down this time of year and I won’t be responsible for your feelings, but I welcome all the help I can get so read on if you like.

Dear Ryan & Deadpool (DP),

This is a two-part letter. Parts are for you, DP and other parts are for you, Ryan. First, thank Santa if you’ve received this Christmas request, I’m grateful that he did it despite you, DP, being on the naughty list.

DP, the naughty list is just going to be a thing, I’ve advocated for you, but the reality is you’ll probably be there permanently! Embrace the knowledge in knowing that people like me appreciate the work you do when making things right. Santa and the “elves” have parameters and you don’t line up. It’s okay, to be different.

DP, you enjoy ridding the world of bad guys while making it look like so much fun. I’m against violence, but you inspire the rez girl in me. A little part of me imagines myself kicking people in the literal face and a#s just like you do, especially when it comes to the epidemic surrounding our MMIWG.

I write a column for The Third and Thirdonline.ca, it’s called Walk with Me. I write about reconciliation and being a better human; I suggest going online and reading it from the beginning. It’s a weekly paper for this area and since I started, I’ve hoped that you or Ryan would somehow come across it, but you’re slack and haven’t found me yet, hence the letter from Santa.

My Christmas wish is this. DP, I need to tell you about the manuscript/book I wrote, and I need Ryan to read it. I’ve been told by my reading group that it’s a movie in the making. It’s a true fiction about some amazing Indigenous women who were murdered and are still missing. Quick synopsis: they die at the hands of monsters, come together in the spirit world, get stuck, then learn to master their spiritual gifts with animals and humans. They find justice from the spirit world and try to find their way home. There’s also a very cool character named Fox, who you, Ryan, would love!

I’m not going to lie; it’s a hard read, but it’s a beautiful book and I am my own worst critic. It’s filled with real colonial history that will teach people about our experience, hilariously funny where needed, and links the spirit world with the physical world.

It relates to everyone, not just the Indigenous community. I would also be a great educational tool for middle and high school students, but I’d have to omit the sex parts, because people are still prudes in 2023.

More importantly it’s the truth, my characters are fictional but it’s what our Indigenous women experience on a regular basis. You see, DP, I need a superhero who will love this book as much as I do. I need someone to have my back, run interference for me, and advocate with me to get this book out to the world. I also need a face who has validity, is looked up to, and can make change with me. Together we can rid the world of bad guys!

You’re probably wondering why I need a superhero to advocate for me, maybe an Indigenous person would be better? No, and, if someone was going to do it, then they would have already done so. I can’t wait any longer, our women can’t wait any longer.

No one cares about our Indigenous women, at least that’s what people have said to me when I told them about this book, and some were my own people. People in Canada say they do, they write reports and make a big thing about pretending to care, like when we found the 215.  But when the limelight is gone, when the dust settles, it settles on those reports that sit on shelves and on the backs of our dead women.

DP, did you know that everyday a woman in our Indigenous community goes missing or is murdered and their bodies are discarded like garbage? We are not garbage.

I wrote this book because I need to change the world for our Indigenous girls, and I need the change to start here in Canada. I’m so tired of trying to get people to wake up, to listen and to SEE us, this book will make a difference.

Canadians need to read this book, once they start to see us, I’ll have created a little army of “Deadpool characters” who will keep our girls, women, and people safe. Think of it as a semi-permanent position, you can come back to train on a regular basis as a refresher when people start to slack off.

I need you to be the superhero the monsters see before they hurt or kill our women. I need them to be afraid of taking us. I was going to reach out to Jon Wick but he’s messy and I knew Santa wouldn’t deliver the letter to him, but if you’re friends, talk to him about me and my request, will yah?

The reality is people are starting to talk about the history we have endured. Martin just made a movie so it’s a good time to jump on the band wagon (pardon the pun), but they are not talking about the things we are still enduring, but my manuscript does.

So, favourite superhero guy above the Hulk, can we meet up? Talk over tea or maybe a gingerbread latte? There’s a place here in Sydney I like to go to write. The latte is made with love and cinnamon, sorry Ryan, your Gin isn’t available there, but we can get you a peppermint tea.

I’d be happy with a phone call if you can’t come in person, a personal email where I can forward my manuscript along would also work. Just remember that two people who are reading my book are lawyers, so I own all copyrights, lol.  

DP, you are my favourite superhero, top of my list guy since your graced the screen, but if you fail to accept the challenge, can you kick this letter over to the HULK, just scratch out your name and insert his name where necessary? Kidding, not kidding.

Guys, I just need someone to show the world that our women need to be honoured, like how you honour your wife and girls, Ryan. I need my manuscript read then advocated for, not to help me but so I can help families who are looking for their loved ones. This book is really good, and I need a superhero or two to believe in me and in my book the way I do.

I wish you both a wonderful and magical Christmas.

Wela’lin Santa Wela’lin Ryan Wela’lin Deadpool

Oh, one last thing. Deadpool, do you think you could pay all the nay sayers in the industry a visit? Kick them until they believe in the magic of books and movies and tell them to get out of the business if they’re in it for the money and not for the love and good of it. Stop killing dreams!

Love,

Tanya


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